Bisi Adewale

 

Being in marriage requires following certain rules that guide the smooth operation of a home. These rules involved some dos and don’ts which if followed will keep the marriage on course; making it a place of rest and love.

Below are what young couples must not do in order to make their marriage free from troubles and regrets:

  1. Don’t abandon your marriage: There may be temptations to abandon your marriage due to openings in better company, in another state or country. Please, don’t jump at any opportunity that will make you abandon your marriage because, at the end of it, your marriage would have been affected negatively.
  2. Don’t allow third parties in your marriage: Third parties are bad controllers, don’t permit them to take over the government of your marriage no matter who they were. Third parties include your parents, in-laws, siblings and friends. Love them but don’t hand over your home into their hands.
  3. Don’t Report Your Spouse To Family Members: In the event of conflict in your marriage, never reports your spouse to his/her family members. Family members may take sides and be partial in their judgement thereby compounding the issue at stake. Make it your habit to see a marriage counsellor.
  4. Don’t Keep Malice: Misunderstanding cannot be avoided 100% in marriage but don’t let it degenerated into malice. Malice will murder love and bring resentment into your marriage. Be flexible in your mind to forgive your spouse almost immediately, avoid keeping malice if love must blossom.
  5. Don’t Fight Dirty: Your spouse may say or do something that will be so painful to you which may lead to a quarrel, but as you are expressing your anger, never fight dirty by hitting your spouse, don’t engage in acid birth or street fight. Instead, fight fair and come back together in love.
  6. Don’t Live Separately: Real marriage is for both husband and wife to live together in the same house, in the same room, on the same bed. Living separately because of a job transfer and urge for greener pasture in another country or state can destroy any marriage any day.
  7. Don’t Tell Lies: Lying always destroy good image and bring distrust into marriage. Where there is no trust, marriage will end in shambles. Make it a habit in your home never to tell lies to your spouse. Speak the truth always and keep no secrets from your spouse.
  8. Don’t expect your spouse to be perfect: Expecting perfections from your spouse will put your marriage under pressure. No human is perfect, don’t be deceived by the feign perfection of courtship period. Your spouse has some flaws and likewise you. Ignore the imperfections of your spouse and focus on his/her strength.
  9. Don’t Shout at each other: During misunderstanding or demonstration of anger, be courteous. Avoid shouting at each other. Shouting at each other will not solve the problem, it only shows how childish you are. Lower your voice and speak with caution.
  10. Don’t Compare your spouse with others: No man or woman is better than the one you married. Say this to yourself several times until you believe it. Don’t compare your spouse to your neighbour’s or friend’s spouse because they are not perfect either. Get satisfied with your spouse.
  11. Don’t Divorce: Divorce is a foolish solution to a difficult problem. Don’t think about it and don’t talk about it in your marriage. Don’t be a quitter. You may have serious issues with your spouse in your marriage but don’t break that marriage, seek for solution in the right direction.
  12. Don’t treat your spouse like a nonentity: How you treat your spouse will determine how others will treat him/her. Value your spouse and treat him/her with respect and dignity. Value his/her opinions; give your time and precious gifts to your spouse. Don’t treat your spouse like a glorified housemaid; let her be happy she married you.
  13. Don’t close communication lines: Closing communication lines is closing your heart against your spouse. No matter what happened, keep talking. A heart-to-heart discussion will help you resolve any issue and foster unity in your marriage. But avoid distractions caused by phones, T.V and social media while discussing with your spouse.
  14. Don’t lose your temper: Having a lasting marriage is not the absence of anger but the ability to manage your temper. When you are boiling, caution your mouth and put your hands in check. Don’t overreact against your spouse. Let the Holy Spirit take over your actions.
  15. Don’t be addicted to soap opera or electronic devices: Addiction to soap operas or electronics devices like ipad, laptop, and mobile phones will disengage you from having quality time with your spouse. Break your ‘marriage’ with these devices now and build real intimacy with your spouse.
  16. Don’t be wicked: Cases of spousal wickedness abound in our society today where murder, acid bathe, beating and slavery treatment happen between husband and wife. Be kind to your spouse, engage in act of kindness towards your spouse daily.
  17. Don’t forget your spouse’s special dates: Forgetting special dates like birthday, wedding anniversary in the life of your spouse will make her feel sad and less valued. Always remember the special dates of your spouse and celebrate it creatively.
  18. Don’t be selfish: Marriage is not a place for selfish people because selfishness will make you think of yourself alone while marriage is about your friendly spouse.
  19. Don’t withhold sex: Sex is pivotal to the success of a marriage. Sexual denial can pull down the pillar of any marriage if not addressed quickly. No matter the issues between you and your spouse, don’t use sexual denial as a tool to fight your spouse. Sexual denial is a dangerous weapon that may push your husband into the hands of strange women. Satisfy your spouse sexually.
  20. Don’t cheat on your spouse: Safe your life, money and your marriage by avoiding extra-marital affairs. You don’t need a side chick; don’t cheat on your spouse. Get all the sex you need from your spouse and be at peace.
  21. Don’t hide your money: Money issue is one of the major problems in marriage. Why hide your money from someone that sees your nakedness? Be transparent financially with your spouse. Plan and spend your money together.

 

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